I won't give up on my faith no matter how disapointing some of people claiming your followers are. They are always talking big about You and possess huge amount of knowledge of You, unimaginably deeper than the little I have. They go to church on regular basis, but little they do to transfer the truth of love they are exposed with into real actions. Lord, forgive me, I could be one of them.
I can't resist to adore You. Thousands of generation of people have disapointed You, but you stay true to Your promise to be with us forever. That's more than what we can deserve. We are weak, vulnarable, fragile, and insecure.
Lord, You are also the perfect model of consistence and patience. These are what the world need amid the conflicting interests of each of us.
God. I am not doing churching. Some of your followers might judge me. Thankfully, I don't even care about that.
Remember God, I don't hate Your church and people, Throughout histories it's born witness to Your presence and has been becoming the well for the thirst. I am now in the need of being more intimate with you. Eyes to eyes. Heart to heart. A private relationship with you where nobody can get into.
In this very moment commemorating the promise that had been fulfilled, the subtle and the humble presence of the maker of universe, I pray. Amen.
Wednesday 26 December 2012
Bitter History
Bitter histories (experiences) are there so that we can learn sth out of it which can bring common good for today's people, not to remind us of the past bitterness nor awake the useless self-satisfiying ego to be a hero and take the charge as a judge; the desire to take a revenge and stand up for the victims of those then dark days. Making peace with them is an important step here, if not, we only fuel them to occur in the now's world but with different actors and reversed roles.
What's next
11 years ago, with valuable help from my niece, I wrote my first English essay on what I want to be when I grow up. This was all about being a good English teacher partly because this was the only subject I excelled at that time.
This dream was made true 1.5 years ago, went well without significant troubles following through on those high school, college years, and now after-college life.
I love it. Being a teacher, for the first time in life, helps me reveal an important understanding that my existence is meaningful for others. This went against my old view; that I am useless, a mere waste of space and resource.
The direct exposure to formal education practices and my simple observation have made the call even louder and clearer that teaching is really my call.
Nonetheless, a further question that often arises recently is, is this formal education the only form of teaching? I am positive, No! It's only one of the types.
Teaching can take many different forms. It's more like water; fluid, flexible, and observable concept, fitting to any containers perfectly yet naturally.
The basic idea of teaching is about helping others and one self to understand lives and their world better and brighter. That's enough of my personal definition.
What is in my mind now? I am quitting my current job as a teacher in formal education. There are some aspects of it that do not go well with my own principles and nature.
I have been struggling hard to bargain, test, and really put my every thought on it and always find some clashing ideas in mind brings me negative emotional influence, which is personally not good in a longer term.
So, the questions stands to what am I going to do? I love writing and somewhat enjoy readings and thinking. Let me begin with these three starters. Let’s see how the story will turn next year.
This dream was made true 1.5 years ago, went well without significant troubles following through on those high school, college years, and now after-college life.
I love it. Being a teacher, for the first time in life, helps me reveal an important understanding that my existence is meaningful for others. This went against my old view; that I am useless, a mere waste of space and resource.
The direct exposure to formal education practices and my simple observation have made the call even louder and clearer that teaching is really my call.
Nonetheless, a further question that often arises recently is, is this formal education the only form of teaching? I am positive, No! It's only one of the types.
Teaching can take many different forms. It's more like water; fluid, flexible, and observable concept, fitting to any containers perfectly yet naturally.
The basic idea of teaching is about helping others and one self to understand lives and their world better and brighter. That's enough of my personal definition.
What is in my mind now? I am quitting my current job as a teacher in formal education. There are some aspects of it that do not go well with my own principles and nature.
I have been struggling hard to bargain, test, and really put my every thought on it and always find some clashing ideas in mind brings me negative emotional influence, which is personally not good in a longer term.
So, the questions stands to what am I going to do? I love writing and somewhat enjoy readings and thinking. Let me begin with these three starters. Let’s see how the story will turn next year.
Role Model
The more intensive I get along with my students and meeting their moms and dads, the better I understand that we spend time immitating/copying, benchmarking, refering, in many senses ,to our role models (can also be parents, here) we look up to. The old adage, 'buah jatuh tak jauh dari pohonya' (like mother or parents like sons or daughters), applies.
Do I look like my mom?
Yes, physically, pelicularly in some parts of body; height, nose, eyes, facial expression and so on. I resemble her, though, the rest, is from Dad. But beyond that, she is partially not my role model. The case is similar with dad.
The way my mom reponds to problems or challenges, no! Although I need to say that I've accepted her imperfections as much as I do with mine. So, I am not saying that my mom is bad. It's simply that I have my own standard. This is to this simple, I would rather shop around and assemble my own action figure.
I believe this technique of growing up is relevant enough to those whose sorrounding is not supportive (tend to be negative) or to those who've lost ideal role models.
Find and observe the sides of people you happen to encounter in your life, and do copy-pastings the parts you like and create the very one you want to be or you are destined to be.
Do I look like my mom?
Yes, physically, pelicularly in some parts of body; height, nose, eyes, facial expression and so on. I resemble her, though, the rest, is from Dad. But beyond that, she is partially not my role model. The case is similar with dad.
The way my mom reponds to problems or challenges, no! Although I need to say that I've accepted her imperfections as much as I do with mine. So, I am not saying that my mom is bad. It's simply that I have my own standard. This is to this simple, I would rather shop around and assemble my own action figure.
I believe this technique of growing up is relevant enough to those whose sorrounding is not supportive (tend to be negative) or to those who've lost ideal role models.
Find and observe the sides of people you happen to encounter in your life, and do copy-pastings the parts you like and create the very one you want to be or you are destined to be.
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